F*** the haters.

4min read

Every couple of weeks, my friend L decides that it’s time to remind me of the “small” number of people who actively read the writing I do here.

Here’s why I don’t care.

We’re all influenced by a mix of intrinsic and extrinsic motivations that determine how we choose to spend our time.

Intrinsic motivation exists within the individual and is driven by satisfying internal rewards rather than relying on external pressures or extrinsic rewards. It involves an interest in or enjoyment of the activity itself. For example, an athlete may enjoy playing football for the experience, rather than for an award.”1

I enjoy the process of writing itself. Finding the right words and putting them in the right order to best express myself is inherently enjoyable. It’s a challenging puzzle, and I enjoy solving it.

Writing helps me to understand myself better and how I feel about life and the media I consuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuume.

Even if I’m the last man on Earth, I would take the time out of my busy schedule (someone’s got to repopulate the Earth, if not me then who) to write because I enjoy doing it, writing that is.

Do people think that I would spend more than half a decade of my life writing for free for a handful of readers (I love you all!) for no reason in particular?

I do it because it’s fun.

“Extrinsic motivation occurs when an individual is driven by external influences. These can be either rewarding (money, good grades, fame, etc.) or punishing (threat of punishment, pain, etc.). The distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation lies within the driving force behind the action. When someone is intrinsically motivated, they engage in an activity because it is inherently interesting, enjoyable, or satisfying. With extrinsic motivation, the agent’s goal is a desired outcome distinct from the activity itself.”1

I also enjoy writing because I know that spending time writing will improve my writing skills. Becoming a better writer makes me better able to communicate. Whether by text (an important skill to have in the digital world we live in) or speech.

Is it nice to get a pat on the back when I write something especially good? Definitely, I can’t deny that.

But whether I’m given that pat on the back or not is not going to deter me from writing because I am mostly intrinsically motivated. And, I don’t expect that to change anytime soon.

This makes me resilient to wayward souls implying that my writing is a waste of time and effort because few people read it.

Until the big OG in the sky decides to send me deep, deep, deep, deep, into the ground, I’ll be here, writing.

Why?

For the reasons I’ve expressed above and because it is a fate worse than death to be trapped inside your own mind, unable to communicate with other people in a meaningful way.

I know how that feels.

I suffered through that when I was a kid. I had never spoken a word of French in my entire life and I was thrust into an environment where French was the only language people spoke. Barely knowing how to properly wipe my own ass, I didn’t have the skills required to deal with the crippling sadness that comes from being completely isolated.

And so, I will never take for granted the ability to think through ideas and express them to others.

I will not stop writing no matter what misguided and hurtful things someone decides to say to me, today, tomorrow or whenever, in an ill-fated attempt to stop me from enjoying what I obviously enjoy doing.

Even if few people will ever take the time to get to know me or take the time to read through anything I write.

I can’t stop, won’t stop, never will stop, no matter what.

Life’s short. If you’re lucky enough to have free time (which is becoming more and more of a luxury these days), spend some of that valuable time doing something that intrinsically motivates you.

It’s fun.

And, remember kids, f*** the haters.


  1. Ryan RM, Deci EL (January 2000). “Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being”. The American Psychologist. 55 (1): 68–78. ↩︎ ↩︎

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